Life From Sacrifice
by LittleLostGirl16
Summary: Alex Wilder, a vampire different from those around her. After her mother's death on year 18th birthday Alex is sent away to live with the Cullen's. Moving to forks things seem to get increasingly difficult when Bella Swan comes into the picture and Alex find herself falling apart at the seams. The only thing keeping her together it seems is her Mate: Jasper.
1. Prologue

_I can see. The jealousy in their eyes, and hear the envy of their tone. I can only grieve, and hope that they learn. They need to know that life comes with pain, and the way we live isn't always great. Don't tell them the ups. Tell them the downs. They need to think. Before they drown. Teach them a lesson. Don't bail them out. Love them tough. Hate the crowd._

 **~Jay Bryant**

Being different is a good thing, even when it isn't. That's what I've always been told, that being different is the best thing you can be for yourself. That to be like everyone else is boring, but to be different is a unique, an adventure waiting to happen. But when people talk about you, you can't help but listen, even if you don't want to hear what they are saying. But no matter how hard you try, there is always this part deep down inside you that wants to hear every word they are saying about you. And that small part inside you, the one that screams at you every night when you're alone in the dark. It's the part that hurts you the most. You're okay, even if you're not. You are strong even when you're weak. Everyone tries to convince you that the reason people talk about you is because they are jealous of you, they want to be like you but they can't be you and will never be you, so they make fun of you instead. I'll never understand this concept of human behaviour, if someone is jealous of you then why make fun of everything they want to be? I don't know if it will ever make sense. And of someone is jealous of you, then why do people always find new victims to pray upon, does making fun of the same person get boring after a while? Is it that after all the rumours and lies they've spread, totally and utterly breaking the person, does the hunt become less appealing? And if so, then how can anyone say that they were ever jealous of someone else? Life is painful even when you feel numb, no matter how far you go, you will never get away from the pain. Some people would rather end it all, because life is too painful to bare and they can't see a reason to carry on. But even through all the pain and hardship; there is always something or someone out there that will keep you going.

There is always something to numb the pain, and sometimes it's a little hard to find and it may take years. But if you give up you'll never find your will to stay. And through all of that struggle to find the one thing that will convince you to stay on this earth, you become stronger. Even if you feel like life is crushing you, pinning you against a wall so you can never escape. You're only getting stronger. So stay here and just accept it, accept that life is hard and fight for that one thing to keep you going. If you stay you'll find love within the hate. And love is stronger than anything.

—

Alex Wilder, a girl taken from nothing and given everything a person desires. A home, a roof over her head and the undying love of a mother. Alex grew up in the city of New York, going to school and having as normal a life as anyone like her to achieve. Alex had no friends, only acquaintance people she could talk to from time to time without any serious connection to them. It was the safest way to live a life like Alex's. No friends, just passer by in the hallway type buddies. Nothing more. Most would find that life style most unbearable, a lonely existence living on the sidelines with no real friends all because of a few differences between yourself and the people you walk past in the hallway. But Alex wasn't alone. Sure the life she lived was a lonely one but she wasn't alone. Who Alex had to keep her company was her mother.

Alex's mother was no ordinary woman although she looked thirty, as youthful as they come. Not a single wrinkle as yet to break into her skin. She looked young, beautiful but most were unaware of the illusion these looks cast over the eyes of the unwanted. The woman everyone saw as youthful was in fact over one hundred years old. The beautiful woman everyone saw had been a vampire since the mid 1800's Alex had never heard the story of her turning but it was promised to her one day that she would. Alex had been turned by her mother and although she had been turned as a child Alex had continued to age just like a regular child. Although she knew she wasn't human, she craved the thick velvet blood that came from the vain of one unlucky victim. She had craved it since she had been turned, there was no way she could live without it. Alex wasn't normal and her mother knew that. No vampire could sleep, they couldn't eat human food only drink blood, they couldn't walk around in the sun. These were all things vampires were deprived of. But Alex, Alex could do all those things. She could sleep, eat human food, walk in the sun without exposing herself to the humans. She was different, and her mother was the only one who knew, who loved her for who she was. She was loved for every difference within her being. Until the day she turned eighteen.

And on that day, Alex's world fell apart. She had come home after a satisfying hunt ready to celebrate her eighteenth birthday. But instead of opening the door to her mothers open arms, a birthday cake laid upon the table Alex Amelia home to find her mother in bed seemingly asleep. This confused Alex because she knew vampires didn't sleep. When she went to check on her she wouldn't wake, no matter how much Alex shook her. She felt weak, her legs had become jelly and her arms felt as heavy as lead. Tears had welled in her eyes and there was no force in the universe that could stop them from falling. "Mum" she pleaded, voice breaking. "Mum, wake up" she began to shake it was unbearable. To think, to know her mother was an immortal being and to know there was no possible way she could die, well there were very few ways a vampire could be killed, but passing in their sleep was impossible. Completely impossible.

It hurt, Alex was sure she had never felt anything worse, anything so excruciating in her life. She was too young to remember the pain of turning, but she was sure that even that wasn't as painful as this. It felt as if someone was tripping out her heart, pulling on every individual fibre until it all came undone. It was unbearable. Her mother was the only one that held her up, that supported her in her every difference. Who loved every difference within every fibre of her being and now she was gone...she was gone and Alex was all alone. She couldn't do this alone. Falling to her knees Alex held onto her mothers hand as if it were the only thing keeping her fall shattering. She was her protection and now Alex was exposed, venerable and breakable. She couldn't stop this pain, she couldn't stop the shaking that racked her body like a hurricane. Tears fell from her eyes, snot dribbling from her nose her mouth agape with unattractive sobs being ripped from her chest. The whole picture was an unattractive sight but Alex didn't care. Her mother was gone and she was all alone. Alex screamed...because that was all she could do as her mothers body shattered falling to pieces in front of her as if she were a shattered window.

And then she was gone.

It was a week later when Esme showed up to take Alex away. A week of Alex being alone laying in bed not knowing how to live. It was as if she had forgotten everything about being human. Even if she wasn't human...she was vampire either. She didn't know what she was. No matter, she had forgotten how to live. She hadn't eaten human food in days, hadn't felt the warm velvet liquid cascade down her throat as she drank from some unlucky victim. She felt numb, depressed. She held no motivation to move, to live. All she wanted was the ever so sweet release of death. But she couldn't even find the motivation to take her own life.

When Esme showed up she had sat by Alex and held her hand, talking to her, coaxing her to come with her. Esme had been friends with Alex's mother for longer than Alex had been around. She had met Esme a few times, but its been years since they last saw each other. "Hi Honey" Esme whispered taking Alex's hand in her own stroking her thumb along the back.

"She's gone Esme" Alex whimpered sniffling as she did. "How is this even possible...she died." Alex didn't attempt to stop the tears that fell from her eyes, she knew she wouldn't have succeeded.

"Alex, I know it's hard. But you have to come with me now." Esme smiled. "I'm taking you to live with me." Alex sat up, eyes wide as she looked at Esme. She hadn't changed in the years she hadn't seen her, she looked the same. Red hair, a mothers smile plastered on her pale face. But Alex was angry. And what she said next was purely created through that anger.

"What the hell are you doing here? How the hell did you know she was dead!" Alex screamed. "How, tell me how you knew" Esme didn't flinch instead she wrapped Alex in her arms and kissed her forehead.

"Alice she saw what happened, I knew I had to come" Alex sobbed at her words, she couldn't help it. Her emotions were going haywire. She couldn't control them. She had never met Alice before but she had heard of her ability to see into the future...she shouldn't have been surprised that Esme would come to see her. "Alex" Esme continued pulling away from Alex to look her in the eye. "I promise, I will always look after you"

And Alex knew she was telling the truth.

She was going to be okay.


	2. Chapter 1

It had been five years since Alex had been taken in by the Cullen family. Her life in New York had been forgotten and her new life in Alaska had officially begun. Although the pain of her mother's death was always a lingering reminder itching at the back of her mind Alex was happy, the vampires in the Cullen clan were very likeable in their own way. And they all made Alex feels as if she had been with them her entire life. Things were going well, or, as well as it could be in a household full of vampires. Like any family there were fights, but just like any family they were resolved. Everyone loved and protected each other, what more could you possibly ask for.

Alex had become friends with everyone, even Rosalie who at first glance seemed uptight and moody, rather quickly. Even though she was Alex to begin with, no one would have her sit around and be quiet all day. They all made an effort to make her feel like part of the family and no matter how annoying it may have been to start with when all wanted was to be left alone she soon learned to welcome their gestures with open arms. Accepting the families love for her. Even though it took a while for her to open up to them, after five years she felt as if she had always been a part of this ever so loving family.

She was closer the Alice than anyone else, but that wasn't a bad thing. Alice was the first one to even speak to Alex aside form Emse. The moment she stepped a foot through the front door the pixie like girl had her trapped in a tight hug, rambling on about how they were going to be great friends and how she had seen Alex coming. She told her that she would look after her and that in time she would get better. She had also mentioned how she was going help Alex with her style; because apparently the baggy shirts and skin tight jeans were not a look Alice adored.

Emmet was like a big brother too her along with Edward, they would protect her, keeping her safe at all costs like they did with Alice and Rosalie. Even though Alex knew full well neither of the two needed looking after, they could look after themselves just fine. And so could Alex, she was far from weak but it was nice to have the constant reassurance that she had two older brothers looking out for her. Edward was quiet and reserved keeping to himself most of the time, not that Alex minded. Emmet was a different story, he never passed up the opportunity to wrestle with her. Alex would always find herself competing with the dark haired Cullen. Either it be through wrestling or playing video games or any other activity they could make a competition out of. They even had a score bored to keep track on how many times one of them had beat the other in whatever it is they were doing at the time. Edward was the keeper of the score bored and so far Emmet had the most points. ButAlex was determined to conquer him.

Rosalie despite seeming reserved and moody at first had turned out to be very kind, welcoming Alex with open arms and loving gestures. Sure, she had attitude but who didn't? She was the big sister Alex never had. While Alice was more of the best friend she never had. Rose always had time to talk to Alex about girl problems and anything else that came up in conversation. She was always there and Alex was ever so grateful to her. They would complain about boys among other things. Or they would just talk about anything that came to mind they always turned out to be interesting. Alice occasionally joined in on these conversations making them even more interesting. The three were as close as could be and after a while Alex wondered how she had ever lived without friends in her life.

Carlisle and Esme were like a Mother and Father to her. They took care of her like a mother and father would. They looked after everyone, Carlisle had a well-paying job as a doctor and basically kept everyone in line. Esme, well she was the best mother anyone could ever ask for. But to Alex, no one could replace her real mother. She and Esme has been friends when Alex was younger, she supposed this was why Esme was happy to take her in after her mother's death.

Then there was Jasper...well. Jasper was a whole different story. Jasper was taken in by the Cullen's years before Alex was even born. In 1948 was when Alice had found hime, and in 1950 was when they both joined the coven. That was what Alex had been told anyway. At first Alex thought that Jasper would be easy to warm up to and that they could be friends. However, when it came to Alex he hadn't changed in the slightest. He was still so cold towards her, they hardly ever talked to each other and when they did Jasper would always come up with some sort of excuse to leave before a real conversation started. The longest sentence he had ever said to her was "Good morning, did you sleep okay?" To which Alex replied yes, but Jasper only nodded after that and left.

It was as if Alex was a sort of poison that would kill Jasper if he got to close. He had hardly spoken to her since her arrival and she could swear he had never looked her in the eye for longer than 0.5 seconds. If that. He tried to avoid and ignore her. Alex tried not to care she had always been taught that caring what people think of you was just another form of self-harm. And so she held herself high, she had never cared what anyone but herself thought. But then she met Jasper and with his obvious dislike toward her it was difficult not to care she tried of course, but she just couldn't get the thought of Jasper hating her out of her mind. Was it something she said? Had she pissed him off somehow? Or maybe she had said a hurtful comment without meaning to...or maybe Jasper did just hate her. There was only one way to be certain.

"Alice, why does Jasper hate me?" She asked her best friend. Alice looked at her and smiled. They were currently in Alex's bedroom going through all her clothes. Alice had made a Yes and No pile for clothes she deemed fashionable and the same for clothes she deemed un-fashionable. This happened around every six months. That's when the fashion changes according to Alice, Alex just sat on her bed and watched, she knew how Alice could get if anyone interrupted her six-month ritual. "He doesn't hate you" She said picking up a brown jacket and throwing it in the No pile, along with many other items of clothing. "He just finds it hard to be around you." She continued. "No offence but you are different, you still have blood flowing through your veins."

Alex sighed and ran her slim fingers through her wavy chocolate brown hair. "Please don't remind me, I mean don't get me wrong I like being different" Alex sighed again flopping back onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. "But if that's the reason he's avoiding me then I guess it is better just to be the same as anyone else."

Alice frowned grabbing a white shirt from the cupboard and turning to her friend. "You should wear this more often, it's going into the yes pile!" She giggled. Alex didn't reply, just hid her face under a pillow she had grabbed from the top of the bed. "It's good to be different Alex." Alice said walking over to sit beside Alex on the bed. "We all need to be a little different. If we weren't then the world would be a boring place." Alex removed the pillow from her face and moved to sit up next to her friend. Wanting to change the subject Alex looked around the room, her eyes landing on the two piles of clothes Alice had created in the past half hour.

"Do you really have to go through all my clothes Alice?"

"Yes! We have to keep up with the ever changing fashions." Alice beamed. "I just want my sister and best friend to always be looking fabulous." Alex smiled. "I can't just stick with my baggy shirts?"

Alice shook her head. "No!"

"Alice seriously, just hand me a pair of skinny jeans and an oversized hoodie and i'm good."

"Alex, it's not fashionable right now."

"It's fashionable for me" Alex huffed.

Alice laughed. "Fine I'll keep the baggy shirts..."

"Thanks Alice." Suddenly Alice pulled Alex into a bone crushing hug. "Uh...Alice?" Alex questioned. Alice shushed her. "He'll get used to you." She said referring to Jasper. "Just like the rest of us did." Alice said pulling Alex down to lay beside her on the bed so the two were now cuddling.

"Yeah but, none of you guys ever ignored me." Alex groaned. "He puts effort into staying away from me. It's like I'm some sort of deadly Vampire virus that only affects him." Alex slowly got off of Alice's hold and sat up looking out the window her blue eyes watching the snow fall. She needed to get out of this room, it had become stuffy as the Jasper conversation had progressed and Alex found herself in need of fresh air. "I'm going for a walk Alice." She said getting up abruptly, grabbing her coat and hiking boots.

"But what about your wardrobe, we're not finished yet." Alice complained. Knowing she'd regret this later Alex said "You don't need me; I just need some fresh air."

Alice nodded "Okay, but be back before sundown or Esme will get upset. I've seen it." Nodding, Alex headed out the door into the cold. She didn't mind the cold, in fact she quite enjoyed it. It had been snowing for days now and Alex had been itching to go for a walk through it. To hear the crunch of the snow under her feet, feel it on her eyelashes. Create snow angles. Things she didn't get the chance to do in New York.

Of course, it had snowed in New York during the winter, but on the coldest days when the snow fell like rain Alex would find herself curled up on the couch with her mother under a warm blanket drinking hot chocolate as they watched TV. There was a twinge at Alex's heart at the thought of her mother. She missed her and wanted nothing more than to go back and say a proper goodbye. That was the thing she regretted most. Not being able to say goodbye to the person she loved most in the world.

As she walked Alex couldn't help but laugh as the snow fell, tickling her nose, getting caught in her hair and eyelashes, she didn't mind. She liked the way the snow melted as it kissed her skin ever so gently. The sound of it crunching beneath her boots bought her a sense of peace as she continued to walk through the seemingly endless forest. Sucking ina deep breath Alex reminisced in the silence that surrounded her. Silence only broken by the chirping of birds and the distant Russell of animals hidden somewhere amongst the greenery. If she concentrated Alex could hear every movement, every sound in the forest. She may not have been a normal vampire, but that didn't mean she was deprived of the abilities that came with being one. But apparently, Alex hadn't been concentrating hard enough.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Alex jumped at the sound of the soft-spoken voice behind her. She turned sharply to see Rosalie standing behind her, her blond hair falling perfectly from under her red beanie a hint of a smile playing on her pale features. She was indeed very beautiful. "The forest, when it's quiet like this. It's beautiful." she complimented. Alex smiled and nodded, agreeing with Rosalie's statement. It had taken a while for Rosalie to warm up to Alex. She wasn't the type of person to give up trust so easily, Alex understood, she too was a little difficult to give up trust also. But after a few months the two had grown rather fond of each other, it was as if they had known each other their whole lives. She was Alex's sister, always there when she needed her, always ready to give her a makeover...if Alice was invited and always ready to criticise her when she did something wrong.

"Hey Rose." Alex smiled taking a few steps towards her sister placing her hands deep into the pockets of her jacket. "What are you doing out here? It's freezing"

Rosalie shrugged. "Don't feel the cold. Besides I'm here to check on you." She said liking her arm with Alex's as they made their way back to the house. "Edward said you had some stuff on your mind, I saw you walk out of the house, I was just making sure everything was okay"

"Yeah, it's fine" Alex shrugged. "It's just, Jasper seems to have warmed up to everyone but me, and I'm starting to think I've done something wrong. Like I've said something I shouldn't have. Or maybe he just hates me...I don't know. I know I shouldn't let it get to me..."

Rosalie snorted. "Oh, well just ignore him I do." The girls laughed.

"Rose you ignore everyone."

"Only when I'm in a mood."

"You're always in a mood" Rose chuckled pulling Alex closer to her and Alex could say that she was in a better mood.

—

By the time dinner came around Alex was in a much better mood she had taken her mind off all things Jasper and just focused on anything but. As soon as she and Rose had gotten home Emmet had forced her into a gaming tournament, this was to see who could get the most headshots on one of his favourite war games. Alex won, much to Emmett's dislike.

"Here you go sweetie" Esme smiled passing her adoptive daughter a bowl of tomato soup. "It's one of your favourites." Alex smiled at her adoptive mother taking the bowl from her. The rest of the family had made plans to go out hunting, this was why Esme wanting Alex home before sundown. "Thank you Esme." Alex gave her a small smile before slipping the first spoonful of soup into her mouth. Signing in content as the warm liquid ran down her throat. Tomato soup was defiantly one of her favourites.

Everyone else soon found their way into the kitchen. "Is everyone ready to go?" Emmet asked hyped for the hunt. Everyone was going hunting tonight, all except Alex that is, so she'd have the house to herself until morning. Not like she could do anything but sleep anyways. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure we're all ready." Edward answered his brother. Emmet cheered and raced out the door without a second thought, the others chucking at him, Edward following not long after.

"Okay Alex, we'll be back before sunrise." Alice smiled at her giving her a hug before running out the door with Rosalie, they were all pretty eager to go out and hunt, they needed to anyway it had been a few weeks since they last fed, and the effects were becoming noticeable.

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Esme asked slightly concerned. "You haven't gone out to hunt for a while." Alex shrugged taking another spoonful of soup.

"I'm fine, if I needed to hunt I'd go, and since I don't I'll just enjoy my soup. But you guys have fun though." Carlisle chuckled and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Alright we will be back soon, get some sleep." Alex nodded taking another spoonful of the delicious soup. Esme hugged her goodbye and ran out the door to follow all her children before they took all the good kills.

Alex looked up from her bowl of soup noticing one Cullen had not yet left the room yet, the Cullen she had been trying to get out of her mind the whole day As they others left Jasper remained where he had been standing, staring intently at the girl slurping at her soup. To Alex it seemed he was trying to figure something out. "Aren't you going Jasper?" She asked, her voice was bitter and not so friendly sounding. But if he was going to ignore her then there was no reason to be nice to the blonde vampire boy. Jasper stood very still not saying a word but the moment she acknowledged him he's eyes darted away from where she sat, looking pst her instead of at her, his face like stone. Alex looked up at him and sighed. "Sorry, that was rude of me..." she rubbed her temples and gave Jasper a small smile. "Are you going with the others?"

"I'm going." Was his simple reply. Alex smiled looking down at her soup. "Well, you better hurry before everyone else gets all the good kills, but then again you have till sunrise to..." She turned back to look at Jasper, but he had already left. Alex groaned and slammed her fist down onto the table. "Just once can we have a proper conversation..." taking a deep breath to calm her nerves Alex quietly whispered to herself. "All I want is for him to trust me."


	3. Chapter 2

Alex felt safe with the Cullen's, and although she still missed her mother terribly and although there was still an overpowering hole in her heart that her mother used to fill Alex felt as if she belonged with the Cullen's. That she had always belonged with them. They were her family, a family in which loved and cared for her. Alaska was home to her now, the differences to New York she found were a nice change. From skyscrapers to mountains that reached towards the sky with the determination of gods. From the foggy polluted skies that hung over the city to fresh air that cleansed anything it brushed against. There were forests filled with animals that talked all through the day and well into the night, it was the most beautiful place Alex had ever been. Although that wasn't saying much considering she had never even left New York before the untimely death of her mother. This was her home, and Alex loved every rock, creak and tree that littered the landscape, she loved the snow-covered mountains and the freshness of the air that seemed to fall from them. This was where she belonged. But that was all about to change.

Alex's was shocked to say the least, Carlisle couldn't mean what he just said, it was all a joke just some family fun. Right? "W-what did you just say?" She asked her voice quivering as she started to play with the hem of her shirt, trying to stay as calm and collected as possible. Carlisle frowned at her looking around at the others in the room, everyone had gathered for a special announcement but it seemed as if Alex was the only one shocked by it all.

"We're moving" Carlisle repeated. "To Forks, it's a small town in Washington"

Alex shook her head in disbelief. "No way! We can't move!" she argued. "We have no reason to leave!" to say she was angry was an understatement, Alex was infuriated she had already moved from one side of the country to the other. She had only been in Alaska a few years and now she was expected to pack up and leave just like that?

"Alex, I know it's sudden" Esme reasoned moving to stand next to her adoptive daughter. "But it's not as bad as it seems." Alex shook her head, clenching her fists at her sides. She didn't want to leave; they couldn't make her. She liked it here too much to just pack up and go. "Alex we will still be together, that is what's important" Esme concluded. Alex couldn't argue with that, as long as she had her family she would be okay. But that didn't make the situation any less difficult in the present moment.

"When do we leave?" she breathed out.

"A month." Carlisle replied. "Not long, but long enough to get everything packed." Alex nodded sucking in a deep breath and moving over to sit on the couch between Alice and Rose.

"Okay" she nodded. "Whatever" folding her arms she leaned back in her seat listening to the rest pf the family discussing the move.

"Where will we be living exactly?" Rose questioned. "Because if I have to live with every human in town- "

"We've been building a house just outside the town border, just like last time" Carlisle explained.

"The same house?" Edward questioned. "There is no way it can still be- "

"We have built a new house." Esme interrupted. "We've been planning this move for quite some time." She explained.

Alex knew the family had lived there before she and Jasper had come into the picture. Back in the 40's is the last time the Cullen Clan lived in forks before coming to Alaska. When there were five instead of seven. Craning her neck slightly Alex glanced at the Texan vampire seated just across the room, surprised to find he was already watching her their eyes locking in a moment pure serenity. A hot blush painted itself onto her face as she quickly took her eyes off his. Sinking even further into the coach. Closing her eyes Alex pictured that suspenseful moment in her mind, only being broken away at the sound of Edwards voice.

"Alice?" he said. "What do you see?" Jolting up Alex sat straight and looked beside her watching Alice stare off into space. "Alice?" Edward tried again. "What do you see?" Shaking her head Alice broke away from her entranced state and smiled.

"We are going to love Forks." She sang giddily before jumping from her seat and skipping out of the room. Everyone sat silently for a few moments before Emmet started laughing.

"Well, if that doesn't provide motivation I don't know what does." He laughed, Rosalie shaking her head in embarrassment. Sighing Alex got up and left the room. She needed to think.

The sun had gone to bed and no light but that of the moon filtered through the trees painting the snow covered floor in its blue rays. A soul crushing silence had washed itself over the forest, the only sound to be heard was the crunching of boots in the snow as Alex wandered, arms wrapped around herself to keep warm, through the night time forest. She hadn't told anyone where she was going or when she would come back, everyone was oblivious to her activities. Unless Alice had seen it and told the others. But somehow Alex doubted she would. Alice was smart enough to know that Alex needed time alone, and she knew she was being over dramatic but when it came to situations like this, situations that caused Alex to go into an emotional drive. She was never good at self-control.

Alex had neglected to grab a coat on the way out of the house and therefore had only her own arms to warm her, the clothes she wore no protection against the cold. Even so, she continued on, trudging through the moonlit forest. Alex wasn't used to handling her problems with anyone but herself. When she lived in New York she would always find herself walking through dimly lit streets in the early hours of the morning to clear her head. And although her mother would try to help Alex never found her advice useful. She loved her mother to pieces but when it came to emotional support Alex was better off alone. She could smell everything, the trees, the snow, the blood. The forest was full of animals to feed off, and even though it tempted her Alex refused to feed. Even though she had been living with the Cullen's for five years the difficulty of drinking from and animal instead of a human was still present. At first Alex was unable to keep the blood down, her body not used to anything but the blood of a human. And sometimes she still struggled with it, regurgitating every drop of animal blood in her stomach. No one knew of course, she didn't want anyone to worry, especially not Esme.

Alex's phone vibrated in her pocket breaking her away from her mind and back into a painful reality. Jumping at the sudden ping radiating from her pocket. There was a text from Alice.

 **Alice:** You need to get home. Now.

 **Alex:** No.

 **Alice:** Esme is worried.

 **Alex:** You shouldn't have told anyone I was gone.

 **Alice:** I didn't. Everyone has been looking for you

 **Alex:** Tell them to stop

 **Alice:** Jasper and Rose are already out looking for you

 **Alex:** What? Why?

 **Alice:** We are worried

 **Alex:** Fine…I'll be home soon

Placing her phone back in her pocket and wrapping her arms securely around her middle Alex turned to go home. A frightened gasp escaped her lips when she turned and crashed into something, or rather someone. Stepping back Alex looked up into the eyes of Jasper, a brief glimpse of the last time they locked eyes flashing before her. Thank goodness it was dark; Jasper would be unable to see the embarrassed blush that painted her cheeks. "Jasper?" she breathed.

"You shouldn't be out here." He calmly stated.

Alex scoffed, rubbing her arms to keep herself warm. "Like you care" She chuckled, pushing herself past the blonde vampire in front of her.

"Why would you say that?" Alex stopped at his comment, turning back to glare at him. Jasper only stood and watched her intently.

"Why wouldn't I say that Jasper" She replied in a way that would challenge the cold snow that lay on the ground. "You've never cared before."

"Why would you say that?"

Yet again Alex scoffed at his comment and couldn't help the laugh that broke past her chapped lips. "Because you hate me" she said. "Don't try to deny it, you put effort into avoiding me"

"Alex-" he tried to reason but was once again cut off by the now angered Alex.

"Would you just leave me alone!" she snapped. "God, just leave." She glared at Jasper challenging him. She wanted him to say something, anything. But instead he took her advice and left, in the snap of a finger he was gone. And Alex was left alone once more. Tears stinging at her eyes, ashamed at what she had just done.

All she wanted was for Jasper to trust her, to let her in like he did with the rest of the family. And now she was pushing him away.

"Dammit" she scolded herself, turning and walking back to the house.

As soon as she stepped door through the door Alex was engulfed in the arms of her adoptive mother. Without hesitation Alex welcomed the hug crying into Esme's shoulder. "Alex, I've been worried" Esme whispered into her hair. "Are you alright." Alex shook her head, continuing to cry. "Is it about the move?" Esme questioned. Alex shook her head.

"I said something stupid." Alex cried. "I pushed him away." Esme nodded in understanding and Alex knew she understood who she was talking about. "I feel so stupid"

"Alex, I am sure it's fine." Alex shook her head. "Sweetheart, go to bed. Sleep on it and don't worry." Esme cooed rubbing circles on Alex's back.

"I'm sorry for worrying you." Alex sniffled pulling away to look Esme in the eye. "I really am."

Esme smiled at her adoptive daughter, bringing her into another tight hug. "I know, everything is going to be okay." She whispered.

"I promise."


End file.
